Friday, April 6, 2007

A Letter from Jordan

Oh God, where do I even start?

Kyrie is such a blessing to our lives, though we only her for such a short amount of time I am forever touched and changed having been her father. Even through all this pain I still thank God for every moment I was allowed to be with her. Lacie and I really believe that every day is a gift. Lacie lay with Kyrie last night sleeping on “Dog” with her, watching as she struggled to breathe. We watched Kyrie until our eyes wouldn’t allow us do it any longer. With every short breathe we wondered if it would be her last.
I can’t even describe the pain we feel right now deep in our hearts. Being her “Dadda” has forever changed me. Her little life has touched us both in ways only a parent would understand. As we spent the early morning talking last night, we remembered all the “Special” times we shared with Kyrie. Kyrie use to make it a game to sneak under the counter and pull Daddy’s toe hairs while I would try to eat at the counter. I would let out a little squeal and it would make her laugh so hard. Or the many mornings I would wake up to a little set of fingers pinching daddy’s “ouchy”. Well she quickly learned that daddy’s ouchy’s were “Boo Boo’s. Lacie thought it was the funniest thing how I would wake from a deep sleep to her pinching and they would both giggle.
There are so many precious moments that we shared with her, and I can truly say I don’t regret any time we had with her. From the time Kyrie was born she was our entire life. Lacie and I both wanted to spend every moment we could with her. I would hurry home from work to play with her and even got in trouble a few times for getting her wound up. Once Kyrie started walking it wasn’t long and she began running. Every where she went, Kyrie would run. And it was so cute to watch her run behind me every where I went. Run half hop, it was adorable. Since Kyrie’s first surgery she hasn’t walked or even crawled.
When the time comes for her to leave us, I believe she will be running to God and he will accept her with wide open arms and show her the love that Lacie and I have for the last 19 months.

There are soooo many things Kyrie didn’t get to do. Like lose her first tooth, or skin her knee learning to ride a bike, Prom, Children of her own. Life just isn’t fair. My heart is so heavy and I cannot write any more at this time.

Thank you to all who have been praying for Kyrie, and to those who have left comments for our family. It has really lifted us up knowing that so many people care and have been touched by Kyrie’s little life.

Jordan

23 comments:

Darla Thome said...

Jordan....our hearts go out to you, Lacie, and little Kyrie. We talked to Grandpa Gary this morning and we wish we could make the hurt and pain go away. Share your prayer's with Pope John Paul II and pray for another miracle, this one to heal Kyrie. Remember that we love you and your family.

godsgirl said...

Once again I can say I cannot even start to imagine all the emotions that you are going through.I know that as I read these post I cry each and every time my heart hurts so bad for all of you right now.Lacie and Jordan you are very special people so many people would go through something like this and not be as strong as you have been.You have given Kyrie a better life than most children are given.Even though she may not be able to communicate much now she knows that your love for her is sooo very much.I pray for strength,courage,peace and love will be with you and your family during this time.If I can do anything for you give me a call 871-7065.God bless you,Debbie Schneider

Renee said...

Jordan..I saw Dr Rosen and his wife at the Man/Woman benefit last night and asked them how Kyrie was doing. I did not know she had been in PICU and that the tumor had gotten bigger. I want you to know that we are praying around the clock for your daughter. Even though I have never met you guys I feel your strength as well as your pain and pray God will bring you all peace. I saw Darla's post about Pope John Paul 11 and she is soooo right, pray for a miracle. I have some water from Lourdes that I brought back from there if you still want it let me know and I will bring it over. (213-8656)God Bless you all and know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.
God Bless,
Renee

Erin said...

Jordan,
You and Lacie are truly amazing parents. Although, I have never met Kyrie she is a part of me. I wish there was something I could do for her. Our prayers will continue for her and your family. She is such an adorable little girl and she has touched so many lives and you should be proud of that. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Erin (Thome) Shaw

Debbie said...

Jordan,
What a man of strength you are, to be able to write such a personal message to us all. My prayers are with you all day and all night. My heart breaks to see you and Lacie experience such tremendous hurt. But as I have told you both so many times, I am so very proud of you! You have touched my very soul with your courage and love for your precious princess.
Our love and encouragement for you will never end, you all know you are very much a part of our lives.
God's peace and comfort be with you today and forever. Still believing--Debbie

Kathy Moss said...

Jordan, Lacie and Kyrie,

We have heard about you from Wendy. I will put you on the prayer list at our church - Christ's Church of Oronogo (Missouri). Your courage and your faith are amazing. Kyrie is blessed to have you.

A friend in Christ,
Kathy Moss

Kim said...

I was afraid to post for fear of saying the wrong thing but decided saying nothing was wrong. I found the link to your site throuh Spencer Barr's. I have been reading and praying often. I imagine that you feel as though it is hard to go on right now. When you get to feeling like "I just can't", I give you Phillpians 4:13 "I can do all things because Christ gives me strength". Continuing in prayer, Kim

Kim said...
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shelby said...

Jordan - what a beautiful letter. To think that you have the presence to write that right now shows your incredible strength. My heart is aching for you, Lacie & your entire family and I, like everyone else wish we could do somthing, anything to change this for you. Hopefully, our words and support and prayers help to comfort all of you.
What a painfully beautiful thought of Kyrie running into God's arms - reading that brought tears to my eyes and my prayer to God is for him to keep your family strong as you go through the hardest thing that anyone should NEVER have to to through. Please let me know if I can do anything for you at all.
love - Shelby

DeeAnn said...

Jordan, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us at this very difficult time. Yours and Lacie's strength is truly amazing. We continue to pray for Kyrie, and for you and Lacie. Give Kyrie a kiss from everyone. God Bless Kyrie and her entire family.
Steve and Dee Ann

Beverly said...
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Melissa said...

Jordan, thank you for sharing with us. My first reaction is, how can he be so strong? It's clear that your faith in God is incredibly strong. You are an example to all of us of the grace of God.
I can only echo what everyone else has said...I'm so sorry...this is something that noone should ever have to go through. No daddy should ever have to try to let go of his baby girl.
I also am still praying for a miracle for Kyrie and for you. Our God is a God of HUGE miracles...I refuse to stop praying and crying out to God to give you that same mercy.
Please, if there is anything...Megan knows where I am.
Thank you for allowing us all to love Kyrie...she has made a difference in so many lives.
Melissa

Pat said...

Jordan & Lacie…I have been trying to post for so long but just couldn’t find the words. I want you to know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. From the beginning so many people have said “I can’t imagine what you’re going through”. I truly can. We too went from having a happy healthy daughter one day to finding out the next that that we had a very sick little girl. Shannon was 4 when she was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. I know how hard it is and I think you are amazing parents. You have been so strong for Kyrie and I pray you continue to be strong for each other. Thank you Megan for creating this site and keeping everyone updated. You have done a wonderful job. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.
Love,
Pat & Allen

Mommy2One said...

I have followed this bolg since I was made aware of it shortly after it started. A-1 Singer employees told me about it. This blog has given me a few days of smiles and many days of tears. I can't even imagine the pain and hurt that this family is going through. As a parent my pain for Jordan and Lacie is almost unbearable for me to handle, I don't know how they are standing so strong. I applaud you for being the saints that you are! I pray for strength, courage, guidence and peace during this painful time for your entire family. My heart breaks. God Bless Kyrie and the entire Thome Family.

Dani T said...

Jordan, Lacie and Kyrie, I have not ever met you but your story has been in my heart since the first day my mom told me about it. My life and the lives of my family have been forever changed because of your little girl. I won't pretend to understand what your lives have been like recently, but I want you to please know that there are so many people who are crying with you, praying with you, loving you and hoping with you. You are not alone, there is a community of people out there whom you have never met and probably never will who will never be the same because of one little angel, your angel, Kyrie. My hope and prayers will continue to be the same as they have been, that the Lord God Almighty and his son Jesus Christ will give you all the strength and courage that you need to continue on this journey. I pray that the warmth of his loving arms will surround you and Kryrie and give you every grace and peace. Every day of our lives is full of blessings and sorrows, today I am sorrowful, that one small innocent child has lived a entire lifetime in only 19 months. Thank you for your sharing your lives with us, you have effected the way I will live from this day forward.

Debbie Love said...

nnnnn

Harmony said...

The power of One
One little girl
So many people united
Family, Friends, complete strangers
The power to affect so many
The love of a mother and father reflected in the
Beautiful face of the angel they created
19 months of love, joy, ecstasy, pain, sadness
Through Kyrie we have become the power of many
Strength, Encouragement, Love, Peace
One little girl
She returns home to our Lord
And we are all in awe of her spirit that will go on in each one of us
The power of prayer
The power of love
The power of God

schnauzer said...

i am a friend of jan and norma. i know kyrie only thru jan's words and this blog. i just wanted you to know that you are wonderful parents and your strength has touched the hearts of so many. i am so sorry you are going through this. may God's love carry you.. kathy gallant

rebecca said...

even though this is my first time posting I have checked the sign at least 30 times a day. I have also cut back on my phone calls.
I have weighed and measured Kyrie since she was 2wks old. She was so beautiful she looked just like her dad. Then as she got older she was of course still beautifil like her mom. I always looked forward to her coming in so I could see what great outfit she had on and you can not forget her "Dorothy" shoes. She naturally leaves a great impression on the people she is around. She made people smile even when there was nothing for them to smile about. Now it is our turn to make her smile. I am so greatful I got to help take care of her and know her.

Cynthia Houser said...

Jordan, Lacie, Kyrie, Norma, & Jan you are in my thoughts and prayers.

wildhair said...

I was made aware of your site by a coworker of mine......Lacy Ast, I was immediately touched by your little girls battle with cancer. I have since realized I went to Classic College with Lacie. It has taken me 3 days to try to find the words to say how much this has weighed on my heart for a little girl I've only come to know about thru this site, your family has been in my thoughts and prayers ever since. God bless, Connie Clarke

Brad and Trish Rink said...

Jordan, Lacie, Kyrie and family - I am so deeply sorry for the pain you are going through right now. I wish there was something I could do to erase all that has happened and make it all better for you. You are truly amazing parents, and Kyrie is so blessed to have you by her side. I pray God will give you the strength to make it through this difficult time.
Trish (Friend)Rink

Patti Thome said...

Jordan, Lacie, Kyrie and family,

Please know you are in our prayers. Your strengh and faith are an inspiration to us all.
Tim & Patti Thome

A Prayer for a sick child.

St. Gerard, who, like the Saviour,
loved children so tenderly
and by your prayers freed many from disease and even death,
listen to us who are pleading for Kyrie.
We thank God for the great gift of Kyrie
and ask Him to restore our child to health
if such be His holy will.
This favour, we beg of you
through your love for all children and mothers.

Amen.