Thursday, April 9, 2009

Easter Will Always be Bittersweet for Us.

A message from Jordan.

April 7 will always be a day that echoes an emptiness in my and Lacie’s hearts the rest of our lives. Easter is supposed to be a time of rebirth, and in a way, Kyrie’s passing was just that. It was not only the rebirth of her life in Christ but also a surprising rebirth to all those who knew Kyrie and her battle. To watch Kyrie leave us and be totally helpless to do anything about it still rips at my very soul. The only comfort we found then and now is that, incredibly, her memory lives on through the hearts of many we will never even know.

I feel there is nothing more precious than a child. From warm smiles to those innocent eyes, nothing melts my heart more. So to lose something that I treasured and valued—the very thing we’re supposed to treasure and value—still feels unfair. People say that the pain goes away with time; I certainly disagree. Though it is not a constant feeling of suffocation as it was in the beginning, the pain still exists in every breath. I honestly don’t know how we functioned in 2007. It still feels like a horrible, surreal nightmare. I still wake up at night expecting to look down the hallway and see Kyrie there playing with her dolls. I wished for so long that it was all just a bad dream, a bad dream no parent should have to actually live.

Today, a piece of Kyrie lives on through her little brother, Kamdyn. Kamdyn has helped fill an emptiness in my heart, and he is a daily reminder that our children are God’s gifts to the world. Lacie and I are blessed by God yet again with another little miracle due in July. People who don’t know us, give us their best on the birth our second child. Some days I can correct them, telling them it’s our third. Other days I just can’t find the words.

Everything good in me has been called to make sure no other parent feels the pain that Lacie and I suffered. I never could have imagined that Kyrie was sent not only to be my daughter but to be what leads me to help other families. The foundation is her assignment and God’s invitation to you and me to impact the lives of others. This foundation is special because it’s working to change the statistics of a horrible disease at the same time it is changing people. I believe sharing Kyrie with others will help cultivate a Christ-like goodness in people.

Two years later, we still thank you for including our family in your prayers. We ask you to please continue to be a part of Kyrie’s legacy and our mission to make a change together.

2 comments:

debbie from wisconsin said...

It was bittersweet to read your posting. Heartfelt prayers as you must be re-living moments this week from April 2007. Please now that Kyrie has touched so many, near and far.

amynelsonmom said...

Wow Jordan...that was amazing. The way that you are able to open up about your suffering brings me to tears and I know for a fact that Kyrie's story has worked miracles in my life. She is an amazing soul and her story and your purpose will forever be in my heart. Big love to you, Lacie, Kamdyn, baby #3...and always to Kyrie. Go Kyrie Go!