17.

Happy earthly birthday in heaven, sweet Kyrie!

Typing 17 seems like a strange mistake, imagining little you as a nearly grown you. We see your younger siblings sprout beyond kidhood into teenhood, and it's difficult to comprehend that you'd be leading the pack in height (from the predictions of your 1yo foot and growth charts), in wisdom, in driving and likely, in humor. 

No matter how many years go by, you know that your mom and dad still hold you in every beat of their hearts. This day is a reminder of overwhelming joy that you were, indeed, here and threaded with unshakeable consolation that you are waiting as a tiny saint in our forever home. That's the gift that you give every single year on this day. 

That said, the love is still very much alive. That's what the soul is made for: love. And today we celebrate the day your soul and ours were in the same room, a space filled with love, hope and joy—together. 

Until we see you again, happy 17th, sweet girl!

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came

a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?

Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?

O, please Lord, keep them at bay--

If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?

Is it that You need another little angel to be near?

O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.

Could You please keep Your angels away,

and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?

No, no, dear Lord, not today--

This is Your day that You died to save.

Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish

and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven

for yet another precious day--

For we all know things will be done your way.

Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--

Yesterday she three her ball three times

till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,

To whom God's love entrusts her here,

Ever this day be at her side

To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,

As we all knew that someday they might.

They came around the hour of seven

to take our precious one to her

special place in heaven.

Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,

so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--

And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,

Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

16.

 

Happy heavenly sweet 16, dear Kyrie!

Sixteen.

Six. Teen.

Driving. Laughing. Singing. Dancing. I won’t mention dating because your parents—and me—would flip out. ;) High school would be in full swing for you. Homecoming would be just around the corner, and I can only imagine you, your mama and little sister choosing an outfit for the dance.

I remember on the last night I saw you, your dad poured out a letter, and in it, he mentioned that he wouldn’t get to teach you to drive, and you’d never go to a high school prom. Both of those things would be on the radar right now for you family, if you were still earthside. 

It’s easy to think about what might have been, especially as these years pass and as milestones come & go for your peers. It’s easy to feel the compounded loss of your physical presence. But it’s also easy to still love you, still know that you are part of this family, still know that your life matters, both here and there, to know that in Christ, there are no goodbyes. This was the promise from the very beginning. His love is our love, and that is still very much alive and well.

So we celebrate the wonderfully made human that God sent your mom and dad 16 years ago. 

Grateful for every day you were with us. 

Happy, happy earthly birthday, sweet girl!

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came

a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?

Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?

O, please Lord, keep them at bay--

If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?

Is it that You need another little angel to be near?

O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.

Could You please keep Your angels away,

and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?

No, no, dear Lord, not today--

This is Your day that You died to save.

Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish

and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven

for yet another precious day--

For we all know things will be done your way.

Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--

Yesterday she three her ball three times

till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,

To whom God's love entrusts her here,

Ever this day be at her side

To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,

As we all knew that someday they might.

They came around the hour of seven

to take our precious one to her

special place in heaven.

Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,

so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--

And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,

Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

15.

From us still here to you in heaven, happy 15th birthday, dear Kyrie!! What your family and friends would give to see you at this age!

This year, I see close friends who have daughters beginning their high school experiences, and can only wonder what it would be like for you. What you'd choose for your first-day-of-school outfit, how you might help your little sister with her hair, what your favorite subject might be. Time is a blurry, tricky thing, especially on birthdays. Grateful for every second while simultaneously wanting more. Gifts arrive and gifts grow and then gifts go. Sometimes it feels very far from when your were earthside, and at other times I am reminded that heaven really isn't as far as we think it is. 

15. There's a line in that song that says "there's still time for you." Our humanity can only fathom finite time, what's here and now vs. what is not, it seems. But I love how God works in the unseen, how He flips things around in the most beautiful ways. For you, there is time--for all time. 

Every year, I roll in the deep end of memory with your birthday post. The birthday wish every single year is that you would be right beside your parents and siblings for these milestones, traditions and rites of passage. It still feels very unfair, and I still can't change it. But you are still so loved. Loved for the time you had, for the gifts you gave and for being a reason to live with an eye on eternity.

Happy birthday, sweet girl! We love you from here to heaven!

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came
a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?
Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?
O, please Lord, keep them at bay--
If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?
Is it that You need another little angel to be near?
O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.
Could You please keep Your angels away,
and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?
No, no, dear Lord, not today--
This is Your day that You died to save.
Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish
and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven
for yet another precious day--
For we all know things will be done your way.
Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--
Yesterday she three her ball three times
till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love entrusts her here,
Ever this day be at her side
To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,
As we all knew that someday they might.
They came around the hour of seven
to take our precious one to her
special place in heaven.
Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,
so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--
And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,
Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

14.

Happy heavenly birthday, sweet angel! Fourteen?? Oh, what so many would give to see you before their eyes at this age. Your birth on this day in 2005 was a glimpse of heaven on Earth for your parents. You were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen! I can only imagine how glorious you must appear now.

They say time heals, and in some ways that's true, but it's a conscious intention to allow time to do it's work. The loss is still undeniable, but you are still very much alive in our hearts. We still rejoice that you were here at all. The time you were in your parents arms was a gift that is still here, baby girl. The love is still living. And every birthday of yours that softly floats in on September 1 is another year closer to see you again.

We're so happy to have loved you for 14 years, sweet Kyrie. ❤️