15.

From us still here to you in heaven, happy 15th birthday, dear Kyrie!! What your family and friends would give to see you at this age!

This year, I see close friends who have daughters beginning their high school experiences, and can only wonder what it would be like for you. What you'd choose for your first-day-of-school outfit, how you might help your little sister with her hair, what your favorite subject might be. Time is a blurry, tricky thing, especially on birthdays. Grateful for every second while simultaneously wanting more. Gifts arrive and gifts grow and then gifts go. Sometimes it feels very far from when your were earthside, and at other times I am reminded that heaven really isn't as far as we think it is. 

15. There's a line in that song that says "there's still time for you." Our humanity can only fathom finite time, what's here and now vs. what is not, it seems. But I love how God works in the unseen, how He flips things around in the most beautiful ways. For you, there is time--for all time. 

Every year, I roll in the deep end of memory with your birthday post. The birthday wish every single year is that you would be right beside your parents and siblings for these milestones, traditions and rites of passage. It still feels very unfair, and I still can't change it. But you are still so loved. Loved for the time you had, for the gifts you gave and for being a reason to live with an eye on eternity.

Happy birthday, sweet girl! We love you from here to heaven!

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came
a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?
Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?
O, please Lord, keep them at bay--
If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?
Is it that You need another little angel to be near?
O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.
Could You please keep Your angels away,
and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?
No, no, dear Lord, not today--
This is Your day that You died to save.
Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish
and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven
for yet another precious day--
For we all know things will be done your way.
Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--
Yesterday she three her ball three times
till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love entrusts her here,
Ever this day be at her side
To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,
As we all knew that someday they might.
They came around the hour of seven
to take our precious one to her
special place in heaven.
Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,
so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--
And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,
Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

14.

Happy heavenly birthday, sweet angel! Fourteen?? Oh, what so many would give to see you before their eyes at this age. Your birth on this day in 2005 was a glimpse of heaven on Earth for your parents. You were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen! I can only imagine how glorious you must appear now.

They say time heals, and in some ways that's true, but it's a conscious intention to allow time to do it's work. The loss is still undeniable, but you are still very much alive in our hearts. We still rejoice that you were here at all. The time you were in your parents arms was a gift that is still here, baby girl. The love is still living. And every birthday of yours that softly floats in on September 1 is another year closer to see you again.

We're so happy to have loved you for 14 years, sweet Kyrie. ❤️

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came
a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?
Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?
O, please Lord, keep them at bay--
If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?
Is it that You need another little angel to be near?
O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.
Could You please keep Your angels away,
and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?
No, no, dear Lord, not today--
This is Your day that You died to save.
Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish
and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven
for yet another precious day--
For we all know things will be done your way.
Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--
Yesterday she three her ball three times
till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love entrusts her here,
Ever this day be at her side
To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,
As we all knew that someday they might.
They came around the hour of seven
to take our precious one to her
special place in heaven.
Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,
so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--
And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,
Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

13.

Happy 13^th birthday, sweet angel!

How can it be that you would turn into a teenager today?! We can only imagine how your character, talents and kindness would have grown from what we knew as a toddler into what we wish we could know now.

We do a lot of wishing for those kinds of things. And a lot of praying for other things. Still praying for a cure. Still praying for all the kids who are facing what you endured. We wish we could have sent you off to your first day of kindergarten like your sister this year. We wish we could have hugged you into middle school like your brother this year. We wish. We pray.

Even though we will forever feel the human loss, we are grateful to know where you are. We are grateful that it’s only a matter of time before we celebrate with you.

We still miss you and love you dearly, Kyrie Dawn.

The Day the Angels Came

The Day the Angels Came
a grandpa's prayer and poem for Kyrie Dawn

Wednesday, April 4, the day we heard of the explosive growth of the tumors

Alas! O, Lord what is it that I hear?
Is it Your angels coming for our Kyrie Dawn?
O, please Lord, keep them at bay--
If just for one more day.

Thursday, April 5, Holy Thursday

O, Lord, what is this I hear?
Is it that You need another little angel to be near?
O, please Lord, please Lord, don't take our Kyrie dear.
Could You please keep Your angels away,
and we could have her just one more day?

Friday, April 6, Good Friday

O, precious, sweet Jesus, is this the day?
No, no, dear Lord, not today--
This is Your day that You died to save.
Again, please Dear God, let us be selfish
and keep sweet Kyrie another day.

Saturday, April 7, Holy Saturday Easter Vigil

Thank you dear God in heaven
for yet another precious day--
For we all know things will be done your way.
Little Kyrie Dawn is fighting so very hard--
Yesterday she three her ball three times
till her tiny arm got tired.

Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love entrusts her here,
Ever this day be at her side
To light, to guard, to rule to guide. Amen.

Sunday, April 8, Easter Sunday

Dear God in Heaven, Your angels came last night,
As we all knew that someday they might.
They came around the hour of seven
to take our precious one to her
special place in heaven.
Sweet Jesus, we know that you, too, love the little ones,
so to You we give You our little Kyrie Dawn--
And in the end, it is always Your will that will be done.

Amen.

Love,
Papa

originally published April 7, 2007

11.

I like to think of this as two 1s pointing straight up to heaven. Your heaven year. Except, well, you've already had 10 of those.

Happy birthday in heaven, sweet love! I am sure you are having quite a celebration with family and friends who have gone before us. That angelic celebration undoubtedly surpasses the bows & balloons we'd have for you here, but, oh, what we would give if we could try! Your mom and dad would cover you with kisses, hug you to pieces and shower you with all your favorites. Your brothers and sister would laugh with you and race you around the house. Your family and friends would sing louder than ever. We'd love with everything we've got.

I wish.

I wish birthday wishes came true.
I wish brain cancer was cured.
I wish a cure for brain cancer were important to people.
I wish it were important enough for more people to help.
I wish more people would work together to make the cure happen.
I wish we had more than one birthday with you.

Many, many more have walked your path to heaven, Kyrie, which leaves so many here in unspeakable pain.

But for today, I'm going to imagine that all of those children who left us too soon are having a ton of fun at your birthday party. We love you, darling child!

until we're together again,
Aunt Megan