Saturday, April 7, 2007

The angels came.

From day one, this is the post that I didn't want to write.

Kyrie had such a hard day. Since this morning, she had been struggling and gasping but wanting to stay with her Mommy and Dadda and Nana. Not really moving that arm that had been going non-stop for so long. They cried together all day, thinking each breath was her last. And then she'd gasp, and they'd all gasp.

Yesterday, Lacie tried to pick her up to hold her, but Kyrie looked like as if it was painful to move. This evening, after struggling for 12 hours, Jordan just wanted to hold her, so he gently picked her up and held her in his arms. She calmed immediately, so comforted by her Daddy's strong arms. Ten or fifteen minutes went by, and Jordan handed Kyrie to Lacie. Not ten seconds later, cradled in her Mommy's warm embrace, Kyrie took a big breath and opened her eyes--both of them, neither of her beautiful blue eyes were wandering or weak anymore--and a tiny tear came from Kyrie's eye. Then, she was gone.

She waited for Lacie to hold her. So tragic. So beautiful.

Underneath That, Kyrie's hands are holding Mommy's. Hospice is coming when they're all ready.

Oh, God. The sorrow is so overwhelming. I know she's running now. She's not trapped by a tumor anymore. She can smile again and laugh again and be silly again.

It's taken me a while to get this ready for you. I so want you to know, but it feels like once I post this, it makes losing Kyrie real.

You have no idea how much your caring has meant to this family. We talked about you all this evening in Kyrie's room, how good your goodness has been. As humans, we typically walk around each day in denial about well we're doing in the world. We think we're good people; we think were doing enough. You have all shown us and each other that we should care BIG everyday. We should be doing our best everyday. This reminder of my daily best came from Kyrie. She has created goodness that will be in my heart until the day that I get to see her again.


Terry Merrifield said...

I am sad beyond words that Kyrie's spirit has left her body, that you and all who love her can no longer hold her and have that precious tangible contact with her. She is an angel, and her life goes on in all the lives she has touched.

Ashlee said...

I'm so deeply sorry and can't even express in words the pain that we feel for your loss. Kyrie has touched the lives of more people than you will ever know and I hope that there's a little comfort in that. What a beautiful moment you had with her, I have Jordan's picture of her in my mind, she's running now. Everyone is still here and we'll continue to pray with you.
Bill, Ashlee and Lauren

schnauzer said...

prayers for you all and love to each of you. kyrie's life has touched me and so many. god's children are ours for so short a time. jan and norma i am so sorry. jordan and lacie i am so sorry. words are hard to find at this time. bless you
kathy gallant

Melissa said...

There are no words...just know that you do not cry alone. Kyrie was a miracle...her life was God's miracle, the way she has touched all of our lives was His miracle. Thank you for sharing your precious angel with all of us. I know I will never be the same because of Kyrie, and because of your family's faith.
I love you all...

schnauzer said...

an daughter, mary marshall had a friend die two wks ago. he was very special. i am sure he was there to meet her and show her the way as she RAN into the arms of Jesus. jan and norma, lacie and jordan, i love you.

Christy said...

Words can't express how very sorry I am for your loss. Sending prayers to all of you.

DeeAnn said...

We just want to express our deepest sorrow for your loss. Kyrie has touched so many lives and has definitely changed ours. As we wake up this morning, Kyrie is running--what a beautiful thought. Kyrie held on until her momma held her one last time. I will forever cherish that vision. Kyrie is truly an angel. Everyone is still here and just remember your entire family is in our thoughts and prayers.
Steve and Dee Ann

Brad and Trish Rink said...

Words cannot begin to express the pain that we feel for your family. We pray that the Lord will give you the strength to make it through this very difficult time. Thank you so much for sharing your precious little angel with all of us.

Dan and Beth said...

Lacie, Jordan, Jan, Gary, Norma, Don and families. Kyrie and your ordeal will continue to make many tears flow for some time. Eyes across the country are weeping with yours. Our shoulders are always here for any one of you. Our arms hugging you every minute.
NO words can express the sadness we all feel for you. Kyrie is an angel sent from God. He has given her the best wings to fly home to him. Remember one day you will all be together again. Kyrie has touched so many lives in her short time with you.May the Lord Bless and keep you and ease your pain and sorrow.
Dan and Beth

Mommy2One said...

My heart is so heavy. I can only imagine the pain that you are feeling. Words are not coming easy for me this morning. As tears fall and sorrow comes upon us, I pray that you find comfort in knowing that Kyrie is running in heaven and she is free of any illness or pain. What a special little girl God has received from the angels. Kyrie's life will go on in all of the lives she has touched. My prayers are with you and your family.
Shawna Grafing

MelissaR said...

I'm so sorry. I, too, am sad beyond words.

You all are and inspiration. Kyrie will be remembered forever and will be up there waiting for all of you.

Never forget that you're surrounded by people who care.


shelby said...

I was so sorry to read these words this morning as I am getting ready for Easter Mass - I cry with your family like everyone else and I am sure that nothing we feel even comes close to the sadness and loss that you feel, but hopefully some day you will find comfort in the fact that she is not only running with God, but flying with Him. You will always know now that you have your own personal real angel. She has changed humanity forever. I love all of you and pray for all of you.

Gracie Fisher said...

My heart is breaking for you. Though I don't know any of you, I know people who do and I have been following your struggles and praying daily for you to find the strength to deal with such a tremendous loss. You know that God is holding your little angel now and I hope you can find some comfort in that.

tina said...

My heart is so heavy with saddness for you all. May you find comfort in knowing she is no longer suffering from that terrible disease. Please know you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming time ahead. In His Love, Tina Boley

Alli Koontz said...

I have been praying for stregth and comfort for Kyrie and your family. I have been asking that if he could not heal her then if Jesus would take Kyrie with him on this day Easter Sunday when his own earthly pain was ended and he could return to his father. It seems one of my prayers was answered. I wish it was the other one that was answered. My heart is heavy as I get ready for this day that should be a celebration. I will go to church with a heavy heart to relay the heart breaking news to my prayer group at church and to all those whom I had shared Kyrie's fight with. Jordan, Lacie, you both are two of the strongest, most brave and compasonate people I have even known. Your love for Kyrie is insperational to us all. You and Kyrie and all your family will be forever in my prayers!!
Christ has risen on this day!!
Christ will come again.
Kyrie has risen with wings of glory on this day.
Kyrie will never be to far away from our hearts.
with the deepest sympathy and lots of love for you family.

Karis Morrow said...

Megan, as hard as it was for me to read this posting I know it was only a fraction of how hard it was to write it. Thank you for being our messenger. Last year we spent Easter as an entire family, our parents, siblings, children, nieces, nephews. 5 days later our mom was taken from us very unexpectedly. She was an OB nurse, her life's calling was to help bring life into this world (and on unfortunate occassions be present when a tiny life could not stay of this world). She always said that she knew God would take her to heaven when she died so she could rock all the unborn babies and little children. I know that my Zeke's Grammie is rocking Kyrie now just like she rocked Kyrie's uncle Chad when he was a baby. It is in times like this that we seek comfort wherever we can find it. I hope this is of some comfort to you. Hugs all around,
Karis, Adam & Zeke Morrow

Erin Allen said...

Jordan, Lacey, and family, no words can remove the sadness and hurt that you feel. This blog has adequately described your love and commitment as parents and it makes me strive to be a better parent to my own. God knew that Kyrie needed you and than you needed her. Your family has experienced a great power in sharing Kyrie's final moments here on earth. Kyrie was raised with the Lord on this glorious Easter and I can only imagine the welcome that she is receiving right now.
It will not be long until you see her again.
"One day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day"
She will run to you again someday.

Jordan and Lacey please take care of each other and your marriage. Lift each other up and pray together. Remember the strength and the determination you showed together over the last several months caring for Kyrie. Together you are a rock. No matter how dark it seems, look to the light and the people that love you.
Erin Allen

Darla Thome said...

Remember...Jesus was not alone when he gathered Kyrie in his arms last night. He had Great-Grandpa Roman on one side and Great-Grandma Helen on his other side. What a precious moment when they got to meet their little Great-Granddaughter. Kyrie, I wonder what nickname you're Grandpa Roman will give you.

Jordan and Lacie, we pray for your continued strength, and the love for each other. You have a fantastic support group that I hope you will continue to use in the coming months.

Our love and our prayers go out to you and your entire family.

John and Darla

April 8, 2007 10:11 AM

Kim said...

I will continue in prayer for you to have a peace that passes all understanding and I know the Risen Saviour will see you through. You seem to be such a spirit- filled family!

Melissa said...

This is a note from one of your prayer warriors. Terry has tried to post a few times, but couldn't get it to work, so I'm posting this on her behalf:
Thank you for sharing your precious Kyrie with all of us. My prayers are for your family that somehow God will give you strength to get through all of this. I have walked in your shoes and I can only tell you that your faith and the love that you both share for Kyrie and for yourselves will get you through this. Just hold on to each other and never let each other go. My heart aches for your family. I say this as a mother and a Nana.

In his precious name
God Bless you all...

joe said...

We will continue to pray for you both. It is hard for me to imagine how you are able to compose your thoughts in such a tremendous way during such a devastating time. Kyrie could not have had better parents than you both. She is now waiting for the day when she will be reunited with you. She is in no more pain, only surrounded by the warmth and love of our holy father. Nothing can be harder than what you are experiencing, I pray for you everyday that you will continually put God first and that you will both enjoy life and love one another with all that you have. Kyrie will be waiting in paradise for you. All our love & prayers.

Keith & Jamie Tjaden said...

We are so very sorry to hear of Kyrie. And thank you so much for sharing your angel with all of us. Thank you so much Megan for keeping up on this blog.

As I sit her crying, staring at my computer screen, all I can picture is when Jordan brought Kyrie through the drive thru at the bank in Clearwater when I first met her. She was so peaceful in her car seat and Jordan couldn't wait to tell me all about her and show me pictures.

She will always be in my heart as well as you, Jordan, Lacie, and your whole family.


Keith & Jamie

godsgirl said...

I like everyone else am sad for your loss.Kyrie will no longer hurt she will no longer have those nasty tumors.She is made new and her body is perfect.I pray that you stay strong for precious Kyrie.She is now watching over you and one day you will be together again.God bless each of you.Debbie Schneider

Jenni Halley said...

Jordan and Lacie,
I rushed home from Easter Vigil Mass to check the blog. I prayed and prayed during Mass for a miracle for you. I was deeply touched by the last moments of Kyrie's life, and I am grateful to Aunt Megan for journaling this sacred time. God's plan can't be understood, like looking at a quilt from the underneath side. As hard as it is to comprehend, God had a special plan for Kyrie. Although the events of her illness did not play out the way you hoped and prayed for, so many lives were touched in a special way during your journey. Kyrie definitely made her mark on the world, on your family, and on all of our hearts. She will forever be remembered as your sweet baby. The memories of her short battle with cancer will someday be replaced by memories of her impact on your lives. SHE made you a mommy and daddy, you probably fell in love with each other all over again each time you looked at her, she's probably the only one that you would let pull the hairs on your toes, and she's the one who taught you what unconditional love truly is. Hold on tight to each other through this difficult time, and keep your piece of Heaven close in your heart always.
Jenni and Brian Halley
Rachel, Amberlea and Tye

donaldstolz said...

Words can not convey our sorrow. My soul cries for you.

Kyrie's life will continue to be testament to eternal love and to embracing each new day.

May God grant you comfort and peace.

With love,
Jamie Stolz

Erin said...

Words cannot express. Sending loving thoughts to your family...a complete stranger so moved by your family. I wish you peace in this terrible, terrible time.

Kristina said...

I cannot even imagine what Lacie and Jordan must be feeling. I know the grief I feel, not having known Kyrie well or having seen her more than a few times. Her tiny body and short time on this earth has touched more people across this country than most of us could ever hope to do ourselves. I pray that this time of loss only strenthens a marriage and brings an entire family closer to Jesus to one day see their little girl again. Tears fall as I write this. Love and prayers for you all. - Kristina Baker

Renee said...

Jordan and Lacie,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you both. Kyrie is running free now in the fields of heaven, smiling and laughing with the angels and saints. May God Bless both you and your family!!!
Renee Dusek-Higgins

Erin said...

Jordan, Lacie and Family,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing I can say that will take away your pain. Just remember that so many people continue to pray for your family. Kyrie has touched so many people and helped people understand that life is too short...and make the most out of it while you can. Thank you for letting me be a part of Kyrie's life.

Erin Shaw

Deanne said...

I can not even imagine the pain. I know my heart is broken for you all and can only image the hurting in your own hearts. Kyrie was such a beautiful little girl that I will remember being just silly running from Lacie one day after church. Kyrie touched so many in such a short amount of time and you will never know how much volume she spoke to so many hearts. My thought and Prayers are with you always! Deanne McGrew

V. Herd said...

Fly precious Kyrie ~ Fly. You are perfect now that you are God's little angel. I will pray for your Mommy and Daddy and Nanna and Papa. Their hearts are heavy. I will lift them up in prayer. Good bye Sweet Baby.